About Patricia

Why am I qualified to write a whole blog about DxE and their short comings?

1. I was part of DxE for 2 1/2 years, attending 3 conferences
2. I got to know people who left DxE in the 2017 exodus, two of whom told me the inside story of what happened. I trust those people now.
3. I have been trying to find the truth about DxE ever since I learned about the exodus, and the Steps to Healing document. Even though I did make the decision to stay, believing the DxE leadership’s stories–I think in the back of my mind I was cautious about totally believing everything I heard.
4. In 2018, I decided to go to Berkeley to live for year and devote my life to helping DxE. I had some funding, and an inexpensive place to live, so I wasn’t making a huge sacrifice financially. I was able to volunteer 50-60 hours a week, which included attending just about every event that DxE sponsored, including Vegans of the Bay events. Vegans of the Bay  was a recruiting tool for DxE where DxE organizers would plan fun activities, but not say they were DxE sponsored because many people would be turned off. Kind of a switch and bait type thing–but organizers definitely made sure everyone got on the mailing list.
5. I attended about 8 core leadership meetings, which lasted 3 hours every Monday. DxE leadership tried to present that they were transparent, and just about anyone who requested permission could attend the meetings. I was hungry to know the big picture and inner workings. I learned a lot about the imperfections of the individuals in the group by attending this meeting, even though I think they were trying to put on a good front for the most part.
6. I got to know Wayne and Paul very well. Paul Pickelseimer was willing to become my mentor, and even though I thought he was my hero–and my mentor–he still easily came to a place with an unresolved conflict where he could casually say, “maybe you should work parallel to DxE.” In other words leave DxE and keep your mouth shut.
7. Because Wayne was focusing on a project to create small circle groups where people could feel like they were more a part of the community–and this was my passion–I attended many meetings with Wayne, and had some private meetings as well.
8. I was very open-hearted and encouraging–and I would also embody the stated value of DxE–radical transparency. One of the biggest complaints I heard about me was that I talked to people when I felt incomplete with them. When I noticed something that was happening that I was confused by or just wanted to clear up, I would talk to the person. Because I think that people were giving me a lot of mixed signals, one one hand welcoming my enthusiasm, on the other hand just wishing I was not there (perhaps because they knew about my whistleblowing abilities) I had a lot of incompletions to clear up with people. Therefore, I got to know a lot of people by the way they dealt with clearing up these incompletions. Believe me–radical transparency is not happening at DxE–at least it wasn’t when I was there.
9. I am emotionally resilient. So when I got banned from DxE, even though the next day I just wanted to die when I saw how many of my friends had abandoned me, I got support from friends and family and I did a lot of grief work.
10. I do my best to be logical, well-researched, and not emotionally driven. Although people have accused me of wanting revenge just because I was hurt by DxE, my life of 64 years does not reflect that I have that kind of behavior. Normally I do move on and let go of the past, but in this case I realized that people were really getting hurt by DxE and I had a responsibility to shine a light on the truth.
11. I got to know Lauren Coral and Catherine Hebert, activists from Boston who were extremely hurt by DxE leadership. During the days we spent together, conversations with Paul Pickelseimer and Jeri Devereax, who at first seemed to want to help us, and extended connection after I was banned. They, like me, tried to document their experience with facts. They have had some barriers to releasing all the facts, including how DxE sided with the DxE organizer who assaulted another activist in Boston. I hope to get that report out soon. This experience gave me first hand proof that I was not the only one experiencing the toxic results of leadership who are not only poor at resolving conflicts, but actually persecute the victims. This is the story of how things came down with the sexual assault victims in the past and others. People become scapegoats.
12. I have been a beloved volunteer, increasingly seeming like people cared about me a lot. I helped start the Alma Gathering, the first spiritual gathering sponsored by DxE organizers. I was asked to be a “friendly vegan” during the 2018 Animal Liberation Conference, and volunteered extensively at the 2019 ALC. People were SO nice to me when I was helpful and the person I truly am–kind, encouraging, affirming, helpful. So when people turned against me immediately, and could kick me out of DxE so effortless–I knew something was wrong. I had been used to lure people into the cult-like organization.
13. I’ve had time to work on this project so I can be as thorough as possible. I was thinking about helping DxE full time once again, but I first wanted to make sure things were really as they seemed to be. My experience with my previous DxE immersion had been disappointing, but I thought I was reconciled with Wayne, and thus everything would be okay.  I was all set to stay in Berkeley and thus instead of helping DxE within the organization, I chose to spend that time trying to help them by being a whistle blower and clean up their act.
14. I have a really clean record. As much as I was tempted to get arrested for DxE, because that seemed to be the ultimate proof (although not directly stated) to our commitment to the cause. Yet I intuitively decided against this action, and I am so glad I did. If I had charges pressed against me it would be harder for me to be in this role. Also, because I have a past that is easily researched–you can search me on google–and my Facebook is public,  I have a ton of blogs–if I was an infiltrator as some have accused me of being–I just wouldn’t fit the profile.
15. You can read more about me here.